Where am I now?

Much has happened since my last post. I have quit my job at Sports Marketing and I am now unemployed...ish. I moved out of my house in El Monte, and now I am living in Pasadena. My room is large (it was once a living room) and chilly. Yesterday I was on my first official show. I was an extra for My Boys. I don't really know the show at all, but that wasn't apparently a surprise to anyone I talked to who worked there.  For those who are wanting to know what episode to look for me on, I'm sorry but they didn't tell me what one the footage was for. So, unfortunately I won't be able to give you a heads up. Next week I may have a new job bussing tables at the Mountain Gate Country Club. All I have to do is fill out a small mountain of paperwork, get a drug test, and wait for a week. After that, it sounds like I have the job. The problem is that I find myself frustrated. I am frustrated with myself. I am fighting against the lethargy and apathy that comes from not knowing exactly what to do next. I came down with a plan, but ever since I broke up with Becca, I have been trying to create a new plan--a battle plan without an ally. Everything is now up to me. What do I want now? Where should I work? Where is God leading me? Where I am in the first place? Maybe I'll go and work at the country club. It would pay just enough. Maybe I should keep doing background work. It is very flexible and has potential for making more money. There is also the risk that I would not work that much as well. Maybe I should apply to work as a temp. The pay would be better when there is work for me to do, and the work would be good for me to do. I am tired of feeling like the work I do is bullshit. That is one reason that I have a hard time getting psyched out about working at Mountain Gate. Unfortunately, that's still not enough reason for me to turn it down. I need the money.