I did not go to church Sunday morning. Instead I got tipped heavily and even kissed at the wedding of the daughter of a 70's porn-star.

Long, awkward title,  I know, but it is true! So, Saturday I finally went back to work. My hours at the country club have been way less then I need. It is so bad, in fact that I will need another job to cover my essential expenses. Needless to say I was happy to get to work. The wedding on Saturday was an young shy asian couple's wedding and was very enjoyable. I have noticed that it helps a lot when the bride and groom are nice and attractive people. It makes it easier to be happy for them. Anywho, the wedding was outside and there were some serious hotties there. Immediately after the ceremony I took out the hors d'oeuvres and became accounted with many of the guests. As a result, later on when people got tipsy, I was suddenly their favorite waiter (because I was the only one they could remember). One particular party girl requested that I personally join her and some of her friends in taking a celebratory shot of tequila and another invited me to join her and some of her friends at a club later on this month. In all I made $31 in tips that night.

The downside of this wedding was, however, that tear down took a long time. It was 2 am before I made it out of there. BUT!... not before I met the owner of the company who brought in and designed the lighting and sound equipment. I asked him if he was possibly looking for new people for his crew. He got interested and said, "Oh yeah. We are always looking for good people. To be honest though, right now we are mainly looking for people who can do light design." AHHH! Those were good words to hear, let me tell you! So I gave him a brief synopsis of my qualifications and he gave me his business line. I'll be calling him in a little bit, as a mater of fact.

I finally left the country club and made it home in a hurry, because, lucky me, I had been asked to work an hour earlier than I was originally scheduled. 8 o'clock was now my new call time and I barely made it on time. This was going to be an interesting wedding. The mother of the bride was apparently a porn star in the 70's and the wedding had been scheduled for Sunday morning. Who has a wedding on Sunday morning, folks? The Sunday golf crowd was especially upset and kept shushing people at the wedding ceremony which was just a few feet away. Finally though, the wedding was over and everyone came inside for the reception. Once again, I had passed hors d'oeuvres and coffee around so the wedding attendees all knew who I was and tipped me heavily. I do have to say that this wedding was a little odd too, because the couple must have only invited attractive people. Everyone, ok all the women were either hot or over 60. One of the best things about these people though, was that they tipped really well! I made $18 just dropping off some coffee. I also learned that if the customers think that you are really doing them a huge favor that is an inconvenience to you, they will tip you better. All in all I made $22 that wedding in tips alone. The funny thing was that I did get any tips from my own tables. I tried to give them all the attention I could, but the girls that were sitting in that area all took it as flirting. Not that I'm complaining. Shortly before the event was over I was taking a request for champaign at one of my tables. As I was making conversation, finding out what I could get for them, blah blah blah, one particularly attractive girl gently tugged my head her way and gave me a kiss on my neck. WOOOOHOOO! I played it off cool while I was there, but as soon as I got back to the kitchen I blushed so red I had to get a drink of water. Then two of my coworks burst in the door and told everyone what just happened to me. Apparently they had seen the whole thing from the back of the room. Now "the pimp" has been added to my list of nicknames at work. Oh well, what's a guy to do? What is funny is that one of the guy who saw it happen has been doubting me every time I tell a story around him. He didn't believe me that a girl gave me a shot the previous night, that I got invited to a club, or that I got tipped $18 that morning by people at his tables... until then when he saw me get kissed by a girl he'd be checking out during the whole reception. 

For those of you who are worried: I did got to an evening church service when I got back to Pasadena. But since nothing as unusual happened there, I don't have any stories to tell from church. Sorry. Sometime it will be different. Who knows? Maybe I'll get kissed at church and be bored at work. 

Surprise Five

Today I was riding home from work, and as per usual I was cutting a little traffic here and there on the 405. I wasn't going to much faster than the traffic because there is no need when I'm on my way home from work. It is not like I am going to be late or something. Anyway,  as I was coming around the section leading up to the 101 connection, which has a lazy left hand curve to it, not more than fifteen feet in front of me I saw a small hand reach out the passenger-side window of the car I was about to pass.. and the palm was facing backward. I could not see the face, but when I saw the hand I could not resist. As I passed by, I stuck out my hand and gave them five.

It is not often you have contact with someone else on the road. You are often in a large mass of humanity, each in your own personalized containers. Interactions between people are scarce, and even more scarce are the day to day interactions that we would otherwise share. This split second interaction opened my eyes a little bit to what we may be missing. Not that I expect people will be passing mustard between cars during rush hour. But I do wonder what it would be like if we all became a little more social during our commutes.

Through a Window, Pain., Quinn, Quinn, Quinn, Other Things

Through a Window, Pain.

So I put my foot through the side window in my living room. Not on purpose, of course. I meant to push off the wall. See, I was lying down on my stomach in the window seat working on my computer, but I got uncomfortable being in the same position after a while. So, I put my foot up behind me to push off to wall and the next thing I knew I was lying on the floor with a bloody foot. Lucky for me I had a friend nearby who was able to run to the store for me and get the bandages I needed to patch myself up. It's been about a week since that happened, but I just thought people might like to know why I have a scar the shape of the Nike symbol on my foot. No it is not because they have asked me to be a spokes person for their new line of frizbee apparel... not yet anyway. ;)

Quinn, Quinn, Quinn,

The problem with telling stories is that the longer you wait to write them down, the less interesting they seam to you. This story was one that, at the time, was very entertaining for me. Hopefully it is for you readers, because then you can comment on it an remind me why. :D 

So I serving at a wedding last week and having a pretty good time doing it too. The bride and groom were both attractive people and so were their friends. Maybe I'm shallow but when you work two weddings a week little things like an attractive and happy wedding party are a big plus. One of the best things about this wedding was that right off the father of the bride got completely smashed. It was great because he's a happy drunk. So was it came to his turn to talk into the microphone and express his blessing (note this immediately after the pastor prayed a tender moving prayer over the young couple) he took it upon himself to introduce everyone in the extended family like he was playing duck, duck, goose. He was hurriedly fumbling around the dinning room, "...and, and this is grandmother (insert asian name) she is weally, weally, old but this was impotant so she made it.... and this this is (insert bride's name)'s cousin Quinn. Lovely Quinn..." The entire wait staff and I had such a hard time not laughing that we all went back in the kitchen cause we couldn't take it anymore. Well later on that night after dinner was served I was helping with the coffee service. Who should I run into but Quinn. Lovely Quinn. Quinn actually works at a Starbucks around here somewhere and wanted to know what kind of coffee we used because she liked it so much. Well, as she was telling her the particular brand we use and (of course) setting her up with a refill... she looked into my eyes I saw it happen. She got hooked. Now I'm not going to say this about all girls, but there is generally a specific moment when girls go from simple conversation to something else, and at that moment ten thousand jiggawatts of pheromones come shooting out their eyes in a ruthless attempt to paralyze their targets. The female will then calmly attempt to bind their prey with invisible threads all the while distracting their prey with their attractive physical attributes, intelligence, talent, and sometimes wealth (aka "womanly whiles") . Some attacks of this nature can be more lethal than others based on the female's execution and the male's escape reflexes. Luckily for me I was at work, and avoided her attack simply because I wasn't paying attention. :D I was however momentarily stunned which gave her time to talk a little bit more (I don't remember what she said), write me a note, and tell me to meet her at the bar. After she got up to leave and I got over the surprise of what just happened, I realized I had no idea how old she was. Being asian, she, as well as several of the girls at the reception, had that ambiguous young look to them which makes it impossible to guess their age. It kinda creeped me out a little because since I got my hair cut nearly every guest at the country club thinks I'm sixteen or seventeen. I really didn't want to end up going on a date with some girl that is still in high school but just looks older. Talk about awkward! Anyway, by the time I finished serving the last couple tables and headed up to the bar, she had apparently gotten her drink, gotten bored, and wandered off somewhere else. Oh well. No loss to me. Later on though she was able to find me again. This time she was a bit more insistent. She gave me her phone number and insisted I send her a text. So I did. The DJ was playing some good music, so I texted "do you dance?" No answer. She ran into me later but was helping nearly dead grandmother out to her car. She once again insisted that I call her and go out some time. Well, it was a good two days before I did finally call Quinn. Unfortunately for her and her hunting instincts she should have given me her number before she went to the bar because she gave me the wrong number. :D I escaped without ever having to find out her age. 

Other Stories

For those of you who don't know: I love good bread. I'm snacking on some that I bought off the day old rack at Food 4 Less. It's not really important, but I couldn't help but mention it. Maybe I shouldn't say this either, but I have taken to pseudo-racing on my way home from work on the 134. It's nothing dangerous cause the freeway is pretty much empty and I'm not going much faster than I do when I am going to work. That said, it is pretty interesting and to do. I'll be riding along the freeway at a nice calm 80, then I'll see some guy burning up the road towards me. About the time they get to me I roll on the throttle and just try to stay level with 'em. It really isn't hard because I get to use the carpool lane so I never even have to go between cars. I don't really even ride to beat them or anything. I just try to stay even, cause otherwise it wouldn't be interesting. I'd win because they'd get stuck behind some cars and then I'd be bored. That's what ends up happening most the time anyway, though.

This last friday was a bit stressful. We had an outdoor wedding that go rained out. In the middle of the reception, right after we served the salad and right before we served the entre we had to pull the entire reception inside. The wind was blowing so hard, in fact, that some of the big hanging paper lanterns started falling on the guests and for some reason sparks were shooting out of one of the extension cords that was up there too! It was a really good thing that the bride was a really good sport. In fact, when she decided to take the wedding inside, and everyone was worried about getting hit with either electric sparks, rain, or falling paper lantern of death, she was all happy and encouraged everyone to hit the drinks because there was an open bar.